Bath Tec School

“Stalk on, Stalk on, with hope in your Hart….”

I see by the puzzled expressions that this phrase invokes some confusion. For those who did not stay on until sixth form to do Latin or Advanced Biology and History study, I will attempt to enlighten.

Study into old English social history raises possible sources for the expression;

Forestation of southern England and enclosures in areas such as the New Forest enabled many wild species to be protected and raised to provide both food and sport. To encourage certain hunted species to stay within the confines of the forest special varieties of plants were seeded.

Deer meat (Venison) was highly sought after, and a variety of small agile Deer quickly became the favourite source of sport and food. Certain low growing herbs including Dill were provided in abundance for the females of that variety to bring them into season early. Henceforth a new word arrived into the English language. The “Doe Dill Deer” in later years aborted to become the “Dildo Dear” by the ladies of the time when their exhausted hunting males (who had been busy stalking all day long) were now unable to provide the necessary “stalk” to satisfy their physical needs.

Other suggestions by some historians seem to favour the misspelt word “Stork” (that was traditionally associated with pregnancy and forthcoming birth) as a possible source. But modern thinking has now discounted this possibility due to it belonging to the wrong species of “Bird”.

Further studies into the Aboriginal folklore “Dream Time” period brings this little snippet to light.

A main source of sustenance at that time was the Eucalyptus tree, inhabited by the early Koala bear as both refuge and rich food source. The early humans also chose this tree as a place from which to ambush Kangaroo, these long legged agile creatures were too fast for them to kill successfully on the run. The local natives quickly discovered that by hiding in a tree until a Kangaroo came to rest in the shade, provided the perfect opportunity to kill the animal with a brief stabbing action to the neck area. The item chosen by them for this purpose was in two parts. One part the long Didgery Doo (early phone) and the other part a sharpened Boomerang. The blunt end of the Boomerang was forced into the end of the hollow Didgery Doo, and this then became the hockey stick shaped “Roo Barb”. From that time forward the practice of hunting the slower female Kangaroo using this simple method became known as getting a “stalk on”. The expression “lack of stalk on” was quickly adopted to represent the shape that the human penis assumed after the act of procreation.

From the Latin “Flouretus et Erectus”, later to be named "Rheum rhabarbarum" by the early english Horticultural community.  After the Roman invasion of England the word “Rhubarb” was an early adoption into the Celtic language, some scholars see it as a corruption of a word adopted by the Roams and Greeks in about 46063 B.C. from the Aboriginal hunting word “Roo Barb”. It resembled a peculiar shaped plant that was being forced up in the dark by old men in springtime. This growth arising from a once flaccid leaf, came to represent the action undertaken by the penis during Intercourse (once solely performed on sheep by the young men) and later extended and performed on the young women of that era (also in the dark). The age old nursery rhyme “Long and thin, covered in skin, red in parts, and goes in tarts” arose then from this early practice.

So, for those that missed these important lessons, I hope that this addition to your vocabulary extra-ordinaire has been enlightening.   Regards, Bill.